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Dear Jezebel, Love Tacky Weddings….

June 29, 2009
Last week, the extremely popular website Jezebel featured a piece about Tacky Weddings, titled “Who Do We Feel Entitled to Mock Other Women’s Weddings?”   It was an editorial by Sadie Stein based on an article that appeared in the Sydney Morning Herald about Australian bride Yanna Elfes’ wedding becoming an unexpected internet phenomenon.  Yanna’s wedding photos were pulled off of a friend’s Facebook page and quickly went viral over a period of a few weeks, and Yanna was apparently so upset by the comments people were making, she contacted the police, who of course told her that anything uploaded to Facebook is part of the public domain.  I had over fifteen people email me pictures of that wedding over a period of a few days, the most I have ever had , and  I posted the pictures with minimal commentary.  Of course, my site gets singled out by Jezebel as a life-ruining hate machine. Now, I think it is terrible that strangers contacted her personally via Facebook and were ugly to her, no one deserves that. However,  even though she hadn’t planned on the publicity she received, I don’t think that her situation is a negative one at all. Jezebel argues that her privacy was invaded by the photo leak, but I think she should be proud that millions of people have seen her wedding. That’s the beauty and the curse that is the Internet.    Newspapers are interviewing her, blogs are writing about her, and she’s even been offered money to appear on television.  I’m sure that in addition to the negative comments,  she has received an outpouring of support from people around the world. There are several positive comments about her wedding on the post that appears on this site; a lot of people think her wedding was really neat!   There is no such thing as bad publicity.
When I first read Jezebel’s negative write-up, I admit I was a little angry because I thought it was incredibly hypocritical and heavy handed of the author to make  moral judgements about me based on my blog but they are just as entitled to voice  their opinion as I am.  Do I think aspects of Yannas wedding were tacky? Yes, I do, and I’m not apologizing for thinking that.  Is it the worst I’ve seen? No, not even close. But Sadie, if poking fun at someone  for choosing Playboy-tagged champagne flutes, pink hummer limos, and a pink crystal-encrusted white boobie dress with a mini-skirt inspired by a Guns-N-Roses video qualifies me as a person who is “dismissing someone’s cultural and familial expectations or the context of her life,” then so be it I guess! This is a blog where I post pictures and comments  based my own personal aesthetic, it’s not hard-hitting journalism. It’s not meant to be mean-spirited or to be taken seriously. The internet has become the most amazing apparatus for self expression ever invented, and this tiny little blog is my slice of that.  Do I ever worry that I am hurting people or question myself?  Of course I do. Whenever I do though, I always look at all the emails and comments I get from people that say they really enjoy my website and I carry on.
There is a website devoted to practically anything and everything under the sun, and weddings are certainly no exception. Weddings have become a multi-billion dollar industry with innumerable websites devoted to praising and showcasing pretty weddings, and others that are devoted to poking fun at them. Cake Wrecks, Ugly Dress and Etiquette Hell,  are all great websites devoted to weddings gone wrong that I frequent daily.   I started this blog in February of 2008 while I was planning my own wedding as a way to share some of the funny/ridiculous things I was finding on the internet with my girlfriends. I created an email address for  submissions soon after that and the blog took off from there.   I don’t spend my days trolling the internet for other people’s wedding photos.  In fact, I spend very, very  little time on this website. Every single photo or video on this site has been emailed to me by a fan, and I’ve never been contacted by a bride that was upset that her photos were on my site.  The website has evolved considerably since it’s inception.  I have often wished that I could change the name of this blog, because people assume that   I don’t like every wedding I put on here.  I post weddings that I think are interesting, funny, unique, and yes, tacky. If I think my readers will enjoy a wedding, or if it will spark a dialog, I post it.   Most of the time, unless I feel utterly compelled to comment, I let the readers decide what they think about the photos or videos that I choose. Without fail, if there are 10 people that say they don’t like a wedding, there are 10 other people that counter back with positive comments.  
Ultimately, I am  grateful to Jezebel for writing about my little website, I went from a lowly 5k hits per day to over 45K in referrals after the article appeared. I’ve had to deal with rude and snarky comments in the wake of the article, but that’s totally okay. This is a public forum, and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me.
I think the Jezebel post failed to include the most important part of Yanna’s interview in the original article:
Yanna said she could understand why people would perceive the wedding as outrageous but “at the end of the day all of my family and friends know that’s Yanna, I don’t want to change it because people will think different of me. Everyone walked in there and saw me and said Yanna, this is you, no one could pull this off like you have.  From day one I said to my mum, `this is how I want to do it’ and my mum was like, `that’s great, that’s you’, why would you want to change that?”
It doesn’t sound like Yanna is regretting any of the choices she made on her wedding day, I think she was really happy with the way it turned out, and isn’t that the most important thing?

Your wedding is your day, do what you want, do what makes you happy and to hell with what anyone else thinks.   Be proud of your day, shout it from the mountaintops!!  What one person thinks is tacky another person may see as fun and innovative.   My opinion is no better (and no worse) than anyone else’s. It’s not the end all be all, me liking or not liking a perfect stranger’s wedding does not change a thing. The moral of this story?  Who cares what I think about your wedding Yanna, I am nobody.  Just rock it.

 

 

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Last week, the extremely popular website Jezebel featured a piece about Tacky Weddings, titled “Who Do We Feel Entitled to Mock Other Women’s Weddings?”   It was an editorial by Sadie Stein based on an article that appeared in the Sydney Morning Herald about Australian bride Yanna Elfes’ wedding becoming an unexpected internet phenomenon.  Yanna’s wedding photos were pulled off of a friend’s Facebook page and quickly went viral over a period of a few weeks, and Yanna was apparently so upset by the comments people were making, she contacted the police, who of course told her that anything uploaded to Facebook is part of the public domain.  I had over fifteen people email me pictures of that wedding over a period of a few days, the most I have ever had , and  I posted the pictures with minimal commentary.  Of course, my site gets singled out by Jezebel as a life-ruining hate machine. Now, I think it is terrible that strangers contacted her personally via Facebook and were ugly to her, no one deserves that. However,  even though she hadn’t planned on the publicity she received, I don’t think that her situation is a negative one at all. Jezebel argues that her privacy was invaded by the photo leak, but I think she should be proud that millions of people have seen her wedding. That’s the beauty and the curse that is the Internet.    Newspapers are interviewing her, blogs are writing about her, and she’s even been offered money to appear on television.  I’m sure that in addition to the negative comments,  she has received an outpouring of support from people around the world. There are several positive comments about her wedding on the post that appears on this site; a lot of people think her wedding was really neat!   There is no such thing as bad publicity.

When I first read Jezebel’s negative write-up, I admit I was a little angry because I thought it was incredibly hypocritical and heavy handed of the author to make  moral judgements about me based on my blog but they are just as entitled to voice  their opinion as I am.  Do I think aspects of Yannas wedding were tacky? Yes, I do, and I’m not apologizing for thinking that.  Is it the worst I’ve seen? No, not even close. But Sadie, if poking fun at someone  for choosing Playboy-tagged champagne flutes, pink hummer limos, and a pink crystal-encrusted white boobie dress with a mini-skirt inspired by a Guns-N-Roses video qualifies me as a person who is “dismissing someone’s cultural and familial expectations or the context of her life,” then so be it I guess! This is a blog where I post pictures and comments  based my own personal aesthetic, it’s not hard-hitting journalism. It’s not meant to be mean-spirited or to be taken seriously. The internet has become the most amazing apparatus for self expression ever invented, and this tiny little blog is my slice of that.  Do I ever worry that I am hurting people or question myself?  Of course I do. Whenever I do though, I always look at all the emails and comments I get from people that say they really enjoy my website and I carry on.

There is a website devoted to practically anything and everything under the sun, and weddings are certainly no exception. Weddings have become a multi-billion dollar industry with innumerable websites devoted to praising and showcasing pretty weddings, and others that are devoted to poking fun at them. Cake Wrecks, Ugly Dress and Etiquette Hell,  are all great websites devoted to weddings gone wrong that I frequent daily.   I started this blog in February of 2008 while I was planning my own wedding as a way to share some of the funny/ridiculous things I was finding on the internet with my girlfriends. I created an email address for  submissions soon after that and the blog took off from there.   I don’t spend my days trolling the internet for other people’s wedding photos.  In fact, I spend very, very  little time on this website. Every single photo or video on this site has been emailed to me by a fan, and I’ve never been contacted by a bride that was upset that her photos were on my site.  The website has evolved considerably since it’s inception.  I have often wished that I could change the name of this blog, because people assume that   I don’t like every wedding I put on here.  I post weddings that I think are interesting, funny, unique, and yes, tacky. If I think my readers will enjoy a wedding, or if it will spark a dialog, I post it.   Most of the time, unless I feel utterly compelled to comment, I let the readers decide what they think about the photos or videos that I choose. Without fail, if there are 10 people that say they don’t like a wedding, there are 10 other people that counter back with positive comments.  

Ultimately, I am  grateful to Jezebel for writing about my little website, I went from a lowly 5k hits per day to over 45K in referrals after the article appeared. I’ve had to deal with rude and snarky comments in the wake of the article, but that’s totally okay. This is a public forum, and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me.

I think the Jezebel post failed to include the most important part of Yanna’s interview in the original article:

“Yanna said she could understand why people would perceive the wedding as outrageous but “at the end of the day all of my family and friends know that’s Yanna, I don’t want to change it because people will think different of me. Everyone walked in there and saw me and said Yanna, this is you, no one could pull this off like you have.  From day one I said to my mum, `this is how I want to do it’ and my mum was like, `that’s great, that’s you’, why would you want to change that?” 

It doesn’t sound like Yanna is regretting any of the choices she made on her wedding day, I think she was really happy with the way it turned out, and isn’t that the most important thing?

Your wedding is your day, do what you want, do what makes you happy and to hell with what anyone else thinks.   Be proud of your day, shout it from the mountaintops!!  What one person thinks is tacky another person may see as fun and innovative.   My opinion is no better (and no worse) than anyone else’s. It’s not the end all be all, me liking or not liking a perfect stranger’s wedding does not change a thing. The moral of this story?  Who cares what I think about your wedding Yanna, I am nobody.  Rock what you’re gonna rock, and flip everyone the bird. 

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27 comments

  1. Dear Jezebel,

    Thanks for the huge increase in ad revenue.

    Love,
    Tacky Weddings


    • If I had any ads on my blog, that would definitely be the case! Haha, Jezebel, please hate this website more please! 🙂


  2. Very well put. I have enjoyed your site tremendously as I plan my own wedding. Please keep bringing the laughs!


  3. The people over at Jezebel are some of the most judgemental folk you’ll ever “meet” on the web. They are also hilarious a good deal of the time.

    I love both your site and theirs.


  4. Jezebel doesn’t print all of the comments – believe me! I wrote in to thank them for turning me on to this website. I ADORE it – along with Cake Wrecks, DeCorno, Television without Pity and the rest. To semi-quote Mr. Blackwell “If having good taste is a crime then call me guilty!”.

    I am shocked that some of these whorish dresses are even allowed in a place of worship. And the Playboy emblem on ANYTHING at a wedding? Really? I often wonder what the modern American Woman would be like without the influence of Mr. Hefner. Maybe women my age (44) would be more concerned with volunteering than being a MILF. Maybe girls would get lovely starter stock portfolios for landmark birthdays instead of boob/nose jobs. Maybe more young women would call Marie Curie or Christa McCauliffe a role model instead of Marilyn Monroe. One can only wonder…..


  5. While Jezebel is good for a laugh, I’ve stopped going there regularly because I couldn’t handle the left-wing Judgy McJudgersons. And being a left-wing Judy Judgerson myself, that’s saying something.

    But they brought me to Tacky Weddings, for which I remain grateful. And will now probably visit more than Jezebel, because if I want serious news, I go to the Economist or New York Times, and if I want a laugh, I want one not tinged in P.C. feminists giving feminists and liberals a bad name.


  6. Well said! I love your site, mainly because your commentary is not mean spirited. It’s funny, insightful, and provides me hours of entertainment. Thanks for the laughs and keep up the great work!


  7. I came over from Jezebel. I love this site and thought their article was ridiculous. Sadie chose the quotes she wanted to make her article, which sucks because she is usually the most even handed of all the editors. ANYWAY, enjoy the extra hits! I’ve been coming back!


  8. “…I think she should be proud that millions of people have seen her wedding.”

    i was with ya right up to that sentence right there.

    if you’re gonna make fun of people for their tacky wedding choices…and yes, please do! more! more!…at least don’t act like the person who’s the butt of the joke should be happy about it.

    i don’t know what it feels like to have something about me or my wedding day ridiculed my scores of people on the internet like that, but i do have enough compassion to say it’s understandable for someone in that position to be mortified rather than proud.


    • I definitely see your point, but let me explain that sentence a little better. I never said she had to like being the butt of jokes, I said in my post that I thought it was horrible that people were taking it upon themselves to personally contact her and ridicule her. I completely understand she felt harassed on her facebook account, but as far as the wedding going viral, she was happy with the way her wedding turned out, so why shouldn’t she try to make the best of the crap situation she had no control over and be proud of her choices? She has no regrets, its the way she wanted it, so I say go on TV and say so! She’s gotten support and positive feedback on my site, and I’m sure on others. I’m simply saying it’s all about perspective. I think that her situation is primarily a cautionary tale about how quickly and easily things can spread on the net, but when it comes to your wedding, its yours, and nothing anyone can say will change that.


  9. Jezebel needs to get a life. Really. I’m planning my wedding and love your site! I’m sorry but if I strap on a camo wedding dress or a ballerina Barbie outfit and call it a wedding dress…I’d know what I’m getting myself into. This Yanna chick did too, it was her thing and shes ok with that. Jezebel has no place to try and stick up for her when she needs no sticking up for!

    Bring on the tacky wedding pictures!


    • Im a 24 yr old liberal woman and I used to love Jezebel but I got sick of the heavy handed self righteousness of it, not to mention hypocricy. Jezebel posts a daily section called “worst comment of the day” which I think is pretty patronizing. What is the point of that section? To shame a reader for their opinions if the Jezebel staff does not agree with them? When I posted a comment saying that I thought this daily section was a poor idea, I had my comment blocked and I was given a “warning” by the site administrator. I have since stopped visiting their site. Seriously Jezebel, stop taking yourself so seriously. And develop a sense of humor.


  10. I just think it’s ironic that Jezebel, of all people, would call someone out for making fun of people on the internet. That’s pretty much all they do. Jeez…


    • I know, right??!


  11. i love this website. some people need to go find themselves a sense of humor. carry on!


  12. I agree with everyone else that you should carry on! And what I’ve liked about your site (semi-new reader, I’ve been around maybe a month?) is that you’re not imposing your personal taste to declare things ‘tacky’ so brides aren’t getting posted just because they chose an extra-long train or lace bolero jacket… instead, it’s dresses/wedding themes that were MEANT to be an exaggeration of a theme and just sort of… well, took a wrong turn somewhere.

    And I’m sorry if the lady in question is upset about her pictures ‘getting out’ but she can’t be surprised that people have strong feelings about it. Everything about her wedding was over-the-top — and to her personal taste — so she CAN’T be surprised that there would be people who didn’t like it. (Personally, I’m with you: if you want a formal church wedding, show more respect and less cleavage)


  13. I really enjoy this website.
    Carry on. 🙂


  14. Yanna totally deserved the publicity, whether it was negative or not. Her wedding was trashy, but I would never attack her personally for it… I’d just laugh at her, really.

    That said, I love this site. Keep up the fantastic work!


  15. hi. I came over from jezebel, I read it each day but I must say I didn´t like the article and I visit your site often since they linked it! I love it! keep on doing your stuff! I think if someone puts her weddingpics up on the internet, she wants people to see them…
    great work!


  16. I commented on Jezebel that I thought Sadie was overreacting. Yanna had an over the top wedding and she knew it. It was tacky, at the very least; I mean, when your bridemaids’ dresses are black and fuchsia and they’re the most restrained part of the wedding, you’ve got a ceremony to rival some of the travellers’ weddings. She then posted pictures to Facebook; of course, someone is going to get hold of them and spread them around. I was amazed the priest let her into the church in that dress.


  17. I love this website, and while I was a huge fan of Jezebel in the beginning, their tone has totally changed. Sadie Stein is one of the more clueless contributors there. This site is fun, and the above comments are totally right on; if you wear some of these bridal creations, you have to know (and like) what you’re in for.


  18. I’ve actually never even heard of Jezebel, nor do I plan on going over there. I’m quite happy right here. Thanks for the laughs! Keep it up!


  19. Hm. I guess you can say that people should just be happy to be in the spotlight, but something tells me that you wouldn’t want people ripping on your wedding. The site is definitely entertaining, but sometimes it is absolutely mean spirited and even you can’t deny that. “Tacky weddings” is one thing, but “ugly brides” is something else altogether. Additionally the woman doesn’t deserve to have her pictures stolen off her facebook even if it means she gets free publicity from it. I’m glad you recognize that what you consider tacky is not universal. From what I can tell your site just seems to be a collection of things you don’t like, which is cool, since it’s your blog, but you seem to hate and/or attack anything slightly outside of the box. I’m sure your wedding was a very tasteful, boring affair. That being said, I like gawking at other people’s choices just as much as the next one, I just don’t pretend it’s not hurtful. Really, I didn’t have an issue with this site up until I read this, which seems to be you pretending what you do doesn’t matter because people who differ from your concept of good aesthetics should be ridiculed and punished. Whoo! That was long winded. What I wanted to say was, accept that you have a bitchy blog. Don’t pretend you’re not judgmental person, otherwise you seem like such a hypocrite.


    • Stans, your whole post was filled with hypocrisy. You’re a Jezebel fan aren’t you?

      Or…was it on purpose?? If so, your post was GENIUS as far as satire goes!


      • I actually don’t read Jezebel. And I wasn’t being satirical. I genuinely don’t have a problem with people being judgmental, except for when they pretend they aren’t.


  20. I’m an extreme lefty liberal, and Jezebel is really ridiculous. I used to read it, but it got really crazy. The purpose of writing any post there, for the writers and editors, is just to get page views and all the women who read it are trying to be holier than thou–unless it comes to judging a woman who is thin and masking their judgment by pretending they are concerned for her health and diagnosing her with anorexia.


  21. My wedding is a little non traditional. And some of my friends don’t like my dress or the colors I have chosen. Etc But it’s what I want. Granted I would feel bad if my photos were put on this site. All in all though when you break tradition and do your own thing there are bound to be people who disagree and don’t like it. I don’t care if anyone one thinks my wedding is tacky because I’m marrying the love of my life. As far as I’m concerned I am having the perfect wedding and if you don’t like it that is your problem
    She looks happy in that photo. And if a dress I would personally never wear is what she wants oh well. I feel bad for her but she needs to say screw you this is the wedding I always wanted I don’t care what you think.



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